Reflections and Vision (2017/ 2018)

2017 was really an eventful year. We completed our goal of running a half marathon every quarter of the year and ended off with a finale by scaling Mount Kinabalu @ 4,095m. Went to many family gatherings just to celebrate life and went on many overseas trip to experience life.

However, amidst the surface of live life, live well and live strong, life didn't went as well as it seemed. Underneath those happy eventful events, fear loams and manifested. And just right before Christmas, it has brewed itself into a perfect storm.

Fortunately one good thing about this storm is that it has nothing to do with my physical health. But nontheless, I was hit hard as the storm that came strike right through the core of my emotional belief.

The storm didn't came suddenly but rather it was gradual. However finding out the whole truth is devastating, excruciating and unbelievable. Trust... honesty... closeness... words which once were real and strong... now they were but words that I only used to know...

Now I wouldn't want to dwell into the how or why it has happened. Because what has been done is done. The good thing is we are working this out and that's what matter - the future.

Trial and change are two scary words to some. And I have learnt from my short life that there is no running away or hiding from them. Today is never the same as yesterday and tomorrow is a mystery yet unraveled to us. There is no guarantee to what's to come. And that's the fact of life - an ongoing trial, a constant variable. Having control over it is just an illusion.

However when dealt with properly, both trial and change is good and they will be our springboard to maturity. A real conquerer in life are those who can stick with their commitment while adapting to the trials and changes of life. Endurance and perseverance are born from them. A real survivor are those who will not loose themselves over the fear of those trial and changes. But instead they evolve.

So although there's a trial right here, right now and changes are anticipated, I choose to believe and will stand firm in His words. That despite the uncertainties, I have God's Grace to carry me through. And despite my disability, I am still a child of God. I am His workmanship, a masterpiece in progress and He will bring me to completion. I will not ask the question why me, instead I choose to say it's gonna be ok. For he has a plan for me. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

So now, 2018 come. For I have an amazing love that will save me from the darkness. A light that even the shadows cannot deny.


Stupidgale is a Sino-Kadazan office nerd during the day and leisure blogger by night. She enjoys writting about everything under the sun and is currently living in Singapore with her family (including teddygirl the corgi).

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