Do you believe?

I am a cancer patient. I was a cancer patient. And although it is sometimes intimidating to tell my story to the world, I did it anyway because this might be the purpose I am being put back to live.

Being a healthy living cancer patient, it is common to receive all kinds of questions from people with cancer or has family/ friends affected by cancer. One of the question that struck me the hardest to answer was How did you got cured? - in which the first response that came to my mind would be Jesus healed me. But saying this out loud is not always easy and sometimes it might seemed insensitive to others especially if they themselves are a Christian and healing has not manifested.

So instead of answering, I would keep my month shut, smile then pause for a second. Usually it wouldn't take long for the interviewer to eventually start talking again and open up their own experience and feelings. I realized, in many situations, sometimes when people ask doesn't necessary mean they intend to want to get a response. Or perhaps they already knew what the response would be but was too skeptical to believe - which I, myself is also guilty of doing.

Because the truth is I don't know how I got cured, or, if I am even cured? After all, facts is saying that I could only be term as likely-cured if there are no reoccurrence in 5-years. So there is a possibility that it might resurface, because no one could guarantee that it won't... how could I give an answer to that question while I cannot even stop my hair from turning grey? 

But what is facts? A thing that is proven? What if I don't care about facts but believe in faith? Facts says there is a limit, but with faith there are no limits.

So although I don't know how I got cured, or, if I am even cured, what I do know is to simply push on to lead my life as faithful as I can, understanding and receiving the love that God has bestowed upon me through Jesus's sacrifice at the cross; where he had gone willingly - to be slapped, spat on, beaten, flogged, scourged, crucified and humiliated. So that today I can call on His name, who is above every name whenever I needed Him.

This month I am past one year cancer free. Though I have made it through cancer, I still don't know for sure how long I will live. My dream as always is to live till 90, with a golden retrieve (or another corgi) as my companion. 

But will it be realised? I don't know. 

Because that is one question only He can answer. And all I can do is believe because to have faith is to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see (Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭GNB‬‬).

So instead of asking How to get cured? Next time, maybe try asking instead Do you believe?


Stupidgale is a Sino-Kadazan office nerd during the day and leisure blogger by night. She enjoys writting about everything under the sun and is currently living in Singapore with her family (including teddygirl the corgi).

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