Awaken (I am not alone - Kari Jobe)

The weather was perfectly sunny and the ambiance was peaceful and relaxing. Despite it being a wedding, there was no rush, no hush. Perfect serenity. We were surrounded by our close friends and family. I was happy... and still am happy (smile)...

Looking back, life wasn't always as smooth as it looked.

(back in July 2014, before my treatment began)

"Why are you not afraid?!!" Do you know what you are up to??!" in tears, JB questioned my jovial attitude towards the diagnosis.

JB have always been the analytical one. Hence, it is no wonder he was very much affected. After all, all the data shows that I'm gonna leave this world soon - like very soon...

And I remember, this was what I said: "No, because I know I will be healed. Why do you have so little confident in me? In God?"

Unfortunately, that wasn't enough to stop hope from withering and life to go on as normal. JB became distant. I felt like I should comfort him, but I didn't know how to. I was afraid I'll say the wrong things because I too was starting to feel confused. So I kept quiet. Praying that the light will come back to us.

Then one night I dreamt. I was getting married, but I wasn't happy. Because I was getting married in confusion and uncertainty. I wanted to get out from the ceremony, from the dream. I struggled. That was when I woke up to find JB staring at me, and then he said: "I have prayed several times for an answer. And finally I am at peace. Shall we get married?"

I have awaken from a nightmare...


Stupidgale is a Sino-Kadazan office nerd during the day and leisure blogger by night. She enjoys writting about everything under the sun and is currently living in Singapore with her family (including teddygirl the corgi).


Abet said...

Aww~~~ that's the proposal.. ? In the verge of tearing up right now..;)

Stupidgale said...

Ya... That's the proposal :)